And so here we are again, my friends.  It is now 4:23 in the morning and I’m sitting on my living room couch watching tonight’s episode of “Wife Swap”, which was DVRed earlier in the evening.

I should be sleeping.  I’m exhausted.  I didn’t get much sleep last night and I was crazy-busy all day today, and yet…

I can’t seem to sleep.

I had every intention of falling asleep when I climbed into bed 2 and a half hours ago… but the apartment kept creaking and shifting and making all kinds of noise… until my imagination began to run wild and pretty soon…

I’m sobbing in the hallway while my husband tries to calm me down, and convince me I didn’t hear someone talking in the hallway.


Just for the record, feeling panicked and scared is the worst feeling in the world.

If I had to live alone… well, pretty much I’m not entirely sure you’d be able to get me to live on my own.

Joel, thankfully, doesn’t get scared by anything.  Anything.  Ever.  He’s so calm and rational and reassuring… it’s awesome.  But here I am, blubbering on the couch, asking him if he HAS to go to work tomorrow… why he can’t just call in sick… otherwise, how am I supposed to sleep during the day in this big, old, creaky apartment?

He finally went to bed (with my blessing since he has to be up in another 3 hours or so…) and I settled on the couch with my pillow, my bunny (shut it), my laptop and my remotes.  After an episode of “The Jetson’s”, I settled on tonight’s episode of “Wife Swap”… and here I sit.

I wish I weren’t like this.  I really do.  You have no idea how miserable it can be when your own imagination prevents you from sleeping.  Your body tells you to sleep and yet every noise, every thought of every noise, suggests something to the contrary.

Bwah.  I’m so tired I feel like I could melt.

I’m going to dry to rest my eyes here on this couch here.  We’ll see how that goes.

Over n’ out, kiddies. 

Stupid, right?  I know.



Filed under frustrations, randomness

2 responses to “*sob*

  1. Sharon

    It’s NOT stupid, Sue! Feelings are never stupid. They can be irrational, but nevertheless, the feelings are REAL. Been there. Try being a Navy wife and have your husband deployed for months at a time on a ship God knows where… so many deployments, so much time alone, too much…

    Nothing I can say will make you feel better, I know, but remember that hormones can play a part in it. Have you had a check-up lately? Just a thought.

    Sending you a {{{{hug}}}}

  2. Nyyyyyqqqquiiiiillllll….

    the crazy dreams are a bonus!

    But you’ve gotta get the green flavor.

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