Just for the record, I have a zit the size of Cincinnatti on my face, and yes I’m already aware of it, so no, there is no need to point it out to me. Thanks for looking out for me though.
Secondly, I may need a new set of tires soon if I cannot learn how NOT to ram my car into the curb every time I park on the street thus creating the most gosh awful, loud, embarrassing noise for every onlooker on the street to stop and listen to.
Thirdly, the groom now has more guests coming to the wedding than I have. The wedding is in my hometown, and apparently no one in town can be bothered to drive a few flippin’ blocks to come to it. But his guests can travel hundreds of miles and pay up the Ying-Yang for a hotel room just to see him get married. Guess who is more loved? I am now working on my Reception Line Spiel. It is as follows: “Hi, I’m Sueanne. No, not Suzanne. SUE-ANNE. No, not Susan. SUE-ANNE. No, not Joanne… SUE-ANNE. Like, two separate words. Like on the Waltons. You know what? Just call me Sue. It’s much easier. Yes, I do know how handsome he looks. Yes, I’m sure he’s your favorite nephew. Yes, I do know how lucky I am. Yes, I know he frickin’ rocks. Can we move the line along now? You’re holding things up. Thanks. No, I don’t mind if you call me Susan if it’s easier for you to remember. Jerks.”
Seriously. I’m practicing my drop-kick in case that happens to me.
Fourthly, I have no idea what this particular post is about. I think I just feel like whining. I don’t whine much…mostly I just cry. Lately, it’s become like a hobby to me. Seriously, you could answer with “crying” to any one of the following questions:
“What’s Sue up to these days?”
“What does Sue like to do for fun?”
“What is Sue passionate about?”
“How has Sue been keeping herself busy?”
I think Joel is a bit afraid of me. And rightly so. There’s nothing wrong with instilling a little bit of fear and reverence into your future husband.
I kid, I kid.
Mostly.
If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go practice parking now.
2 Comments
July 19, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I have sent your package out. Let me know when you get it, ‘kay? I hope you like it.
There is also a gift for ma in there, if you wouldn’t mind forwarding that to her. Ha, ha.
I’m just telling you what you already know, but Ely is lame. Maybe you will get a few more guests, hopefully. Emily will be born 3 days after your wedding, so it is pretty much impossible to be there, as much as I would like to. I tried to convince the doctors that she should be born a few weeks early, but they wouldn’t listen. What is up with that?
This will all be over soon, and then you will only have the pictures to look at. In a couple of decades you will look back on your wedding day with fondness and longing. (Just kidding.)
July 20, 2008 at 11:09 am
Love your randomness, Susan……