For the past five or so years, I’ve been on a quest to find a scary movie that actually scares me, gives me the heebie-jeebies, and leaves me relatively freaked out.
Lots of people hate scary movies. They hate being frightened. Not me. I rather enjoy it. Gives me something to do.
So, I’ve been trying to find a really scary movie that actually scares me. And I keep coming up empty. All the scary movies of this decade are just plain stupid. They don’t scare you. They leave you staring at the screen trying to justify the fact that you just wasted two hours of your precious time. They leave you dumber than when you first walked into the theater or hit the play button. They leave you wondering how the idiotic concept even got produced.
Either that or they’re just plain gross. Horror movies are not scary movies. Scary movies are not made up of people bleeding profusely from an arm that was just hacked off by a chain saw. If you have to incorporate bood, guts, and gore, obviously the movie wasn’t very frightening to begin with, and the makers thought grossing the audience out might compensate for their lack of creativity.
It never does.
But I digress. Turns out, I may have found a movie that genuinely frightens me.
“The Blair Witch Project” first came out when I was in high school. I wasn’t a particularly huge fan of it when I saw it. It gave me a couple chills, but that was about it. I didn’t lose sleep over it or have to sleep with the lights on or scare myself just thinking about it.
Until now. (Apparently, I have very delayed reactions to things.)
Last night, on the telephone, as we were saying goodnight, the boy was telling me about the movie “Cloverfield.” He said the filming was kind of like “The Blair Witch Project.”
“Don’t say that,” I told him.
“Say what?” he asked. “Blair Witch?”
“Don’t say that!” I told him again.
“Sorry, I meant to say Care Bears.”
This is not the first time this conversation has been had. But every time the conversation IS had, I totally freak myself out just hearing the title.
I am instantly brought back to the final scene of the movie, with the guy standing in the corner, and the other guy filming it…and THE GUY IN THE CORNER WON’T TURN AROUND. And you KNOW what has happened, and you KNOW what’s going to happen and even though you never actually SEE the witch, you know she’s there.
BWAH!
How does that still freak me out SEVEN YEARS LATER?! It’s absolutely ridiculous is what it is.
So, of course, even after images of Care Bears have been conjured up in my mind, I can still see the guy standing in the corner…
And I get out of bed, turn on the light, check the room, turn the light back off, climb back into bed, find myself unable to shut my eyes, get back out of bed, turn the light back on, search the room for a night-light (yes, a night-light), plug it in, THEN turn the light back off, climb into bed again and go to sleep.
How sad and pathetic is that?
I guess I have found my mostest, scariest movie. But seriously? “The Blair Witch Project”?
I have nothing more to say out of sheer humiliation.
7 Comments
May 7, 2008 at 1:41 am
Are you sure we come from the same family? Because I REFUSE to watch any horror or scary movies EVER. Even if I watch something remotely creepy, I end up checking the closets, closing doors and opening my eyes everytime I hear a noise.
As a child, I remember being terrified of the abominable snowman on “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” Totally scared.
And we watched this movie once where there was a child playing by the railroad and she was like 3, and she was sitting on the tracks and you heard the whistle of the train coming and her mom screaming for her to get off the tracks and the train runs over her legs and she is all white all over and it was just very traumatic. Can you tell? After all these years, I can still remember it!
Blair Witch? No way could you get me to even watch the credits. If I hear of a scarier one, I’ll let you know.
May 7, 2008 at 4:06 am
OMG, THE GUY IN THE CORNER!!!!!!!!!
GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s only taken me SEVEN YEARS to get that image out of my head and now it is back in!!!
That movie freaked me the freak OUT.
(Don’t even get me started on “The Ring” because then I will have to sleep with all the lights on.)
May 7, 2008 at 3:33 pm
“The Ring”! I totally forgot about that one! I unplugged my TV every night for like, a month after I watched that one.
May 7, 2008 at 5:18 pm
You and Loni and your scary movies. I seriously don’t get it.
May 7, 2008 at 10:42 pm
What is with people that don’t enjoy getting freaked out? Who DOESN’T like scaring themselves?
May 8, 2008 at 2:51 am
eh hem, pretty sure that only aplies to movies!
last time i tried to scare you in the car you threatened bodly injury!
May 9, 2008 at 8:05 pm
That movie freaked me out because the woods they were wandering about in looked exactly like the woods around my house. it was unnerving.