“Right back where I started from…”
Sorry. Previous life flashback.
Anywho…
(Why do people say that? Anywho? I hate when people say that. Why did I just say that?)
Alright, moving on.
The boy and I are trying to figure out where to take our honeymoon. Which, honestly, is a laughable undertaking considering the current turn of events. (As though we have any money to even be considering it?)
But, we figure, “Everything is going to be okay,” so we’re going ahead with the planning.
Here’s the thing. I told him that this part of the wedding was all his to plan. The thing is, he can’t get me to commit to any single location. He’s open for anything. Me? Not so much.
No mountains, nothing too hot, nothing too touristy, nothing too close to home, nothing in the Mid-West, nothing too dangerous, nothing too outdoorsy, nothing that’s going to remind me of any single season of “Survivor.”
But even when he thinks of a place that might meet my requirements, I get all, “I dunnooooooo….”
He’s requested informational brochures from pretty much every single state (except Alaska, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana…because…seriously? Honeymoon material? I think not.). And they just bore me…or scare me. I don’t know what I want, but I have every idea of what I don’t want.
Let’s just get this out in the open right here, right now. I’m a VERY cautious person, I’m not exactly known for my adventurousness. I need to be prepared for all things at all times. I don’t want any surprises. Better safe than sorry.
I thought we had finally whittled our options down to either someplace in the Caribbean or the Florida Keys.
Mmm…not so much. First, there was the Lifetime movie where the man’s wife dies after contracting encephalitis while on a trip to the Caribbean. Strike one for the Caribbean.
Then, there was the Dateline NBC investigation into a nice Jewish boy’s murder in Puerto Rico. The same Puerto Rico that just happens to have 6 times the annual murder rate of the U.S. (It’s a freakin’ tiny island, people! How does that work?!) Strike two against the Caribbean. I have now deemed the Caribbean to be out of the running, because I don’t wait around for strike three.
Then there was discussion on the Florida Keys. Until today. When I read this. Are you kidding me? How do things like this happen? A freak incident to be sure, but I’m already not a big fan of water. Jumping stingrays just complicate things. Jumping stingrays? I’m still having nightmares about what happened to Steve Irwin, now they JUMP too? No, no, no, no, no. I’m sorry. I do not foresee any Florida Keys in my future. (Jumping STINGRAYS?)
Finally, there was discussion on California. Okay, so California isn’t exactly the “exotic” location I always wanted to have my honeymoon in…but it’s safe…er than apparently the other places we were discussing. But then you have earthquakes to worry about… Still, it seems a little less scary to me.
I know. I’m a wimp. I’m a pathetic little wussy girl…but like I said, I don’t like taking any chances. I mean, in a world of encephalitis and jumping stingrays, a girl has to be careful.
Besides, I stand by my assertion that if we had just stuck with Hawaii, we wouldn’t be having these problems. Volcanoes I can handle.
8 Comments
March 21, 2008 at 1:20 am
David’s sister just went to the Keys. She said it was just a big tourist trap and one continuous “Spring Break,” with lots of drinking and other disgusting stuff.
How about a cruise? That way you wouldn’t have to stay in one place for too long if you found out you didn’t like it.
We’re praying for you guys!
March 21, 2008 at 4:04 am
I write, “AnywhoO” .
Obviously the second “O” makes it TOTALLY different.
;p
March 21, 2008 at 6:43 am
if davids sister jsut went to the keys, the spring break is to be expectd. it is afterall, spring break
my folks just got back from Tampa and said the same thing.
Sue, were going to Indiana, and hanging out in Gary!
March 21, 2008 at 11:58 am
Actually, David’s sister went in January.
March 21, 2008 at 3:27 pm
NIAGARA FALLS!!!!!
Or if you come out to California, I’d suggest camping out in some state park or some such. The state parks here are pretty fantastic. Redwoods ‘n such.
Stay away from the cities…they will eat your soul. No joke.
My shoes will never be the same.
March 22, 2008 at 1:57 am
I would recommend New England. Call me crazy, but I LOVED that area of the country.
March 25, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I know, how about:
THE BOUNDARY WATERS CANOE AREA WILDERNESS?
March 31, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Try not to let those stories scare you away from places. Something could happen to you right there in Ely, too. If you’re careful anywhere, odds are you’ll be fine.
The Monterrey area of California is nice — lots of B&Bs. Northern Cali is nice, too, and not as hot. We just had fun in Hawaii, too! Lots to do…